Adi and I shared a fist bump as I dropped him off for the last day of school. The fist bump celebrates our friendship and our joint partnership.
It says “YEAH. We have managed to pull together this year.”
Calling 2014 an eventful year is an understatement.
We have had so many transitions and so much learning.
During the first few weeks in Texas, when Kumar was away in California and Daddy was in India, he stepped up and played the role of man-of-the-house.
He helped me move and settle down. He carried his sleepy younger brother around on many of the long days. He helped him fill out numerous paperwork that comes with settling down in a new city. He made coffee (tasted terrible, but the gesture!) when I sat down after a long day of running around in a city that I didn’t know anything about. He hugged me often and said “Amma, it is ok. Appa will be here soon to help us.”
Both he and I have grown up so much this year.
I can’t wait to relax and go absolutely crazy with the boys during the 2 week holiday.
“Parents raise kids” statement is not complete. It is a 2 way street. Kids raise us as much (and in some cases like mine, probably more) than we raise them. Parent raising is probably harder than kids raising…for the simple reason that kids are willing to be raised and molded by us. We, on the other hand, think (falsely, of course) we are already done “growing up”.
I urge you to think about who is ACTUALLY raising who?
I just had too many things to get done today afternoon.
So, when Adi made a few mistakes in some math problems repeatedly, instead of giving him a big long lecture, I told him “Why don’t you go write a 1 pager on the primary reason you are having trouble with these problems repeatedly?”.
I just wanted to get him out of my working space. He walked away with a sad face. I went back to my work and found my “zone” again. I don’t know how long it took him. But he came back to my desk and presented a 1 pager.
I didn’t really expect him to bring me back a 1 pager. So, while I was a bit annoyed he came to my desk to interrupt me again, I was also pleasantly surprised that he took the effort to write the 1 pager as per my request.
Then, I laughed+cried as I read the 1 pager.
He had not only retrospected but also added some humor in his write up.
I pulled him to my side. Sat him on my lap. Gave him a big hug.
I told him “Well, looks you are starting to learn the fine art of ‘How to deal with a tricky situation by using your wit?’. That is a good skill to have.”
The fun in the sun runner.
There is something about chasing a 5 year old around the park.
It makes you lie down on the green grass.
It makes you count the white clouds in the blue sky
It makes you feel the fresh air in the wind.
It makes you hear the little birds fluttering.
It makes you come alive.
It makes you feel like a 5 year old.
Try it. I am sure you will enjoy it.
4 days had passed since he was born.
Kumar, Grandpa and I rushed to the hospital for the first week doctor check up.
We were running late….with a wailing baby in the car seat. Kumar pulled through to the clinic’s driveway to drop me off. I jumped off the car and rushed to the front desk.
The receptionist asked me “Who is the appointment for?”.
I responded “I have an 8.30am appointment for my son. His last name is spelt – K – U – M – A – R”.
As I said it, I realized it was the very first time I had said “MY SON”. Suddenly there was a new relationship with a new person. That new person…that was my son. MY SON. As, I said it, my heart became stronger and weaker all at once.
The last few years have been a wild ride with the boy who holds my heart strings in his hands.
Today, he is 11.
10 years ago he was 1. And, we were “one”.
He has a mind of his “own” now.
He and I don’t see eye-2-eye anymore.
He and I blow smoke off our shotguns every day.
Despite the “differences” his adolescence brings, we are still tied together at the hip. And, I hope that togetherness will last a lifetime.
Whether you are near or far, thank you for being in Adi’s life. Thank you for coaching him, sharing a laugh with him and wishing him well. Thank you for guiding me with your parenting tips.
Thank you for saying “Ambal, it is such a short time. Come on, hold it together, will you?”