On How Love Manifests in Hidden Places

Love manifests in a zillion ways in zillion places.

As the firm voice that says “Don’t do it..or else”.

As the pat on your shoulder that says “Atta girl (or boy)”

As the peck of teary kiss that says “Good bye…be back with me soon”.

As the glance of a friend or a lover that only you know and understand.

Let me give you an example of how love manifests under my roof in the least of places.

I hope with this story, I will urge you to notice the love that unfolds in unforeseen places and circumstances.

The times I grew up in, taught me that one never really wastes any resources or dumps stuff away. One makes the most of what one has.

I have had the same kitchen mittens for over a decade. They had worn out and when I pulled something out of the oven, I winced due to the heat.

The boys immediately rushed to my aid.

One got a towel dipped in cold water to wrap around my hand.

One got an ice pack and put it on my hand.

One yelled – “How many times I have asked you to throw those worn mittens out?”

A few months ago, Kumar got a sturdy pair of mittens from Costco and gave me a firm look and even firmer words. “Look. I am dead serious. You are going to start using these mittens when you stick your hand in the oven. I threw away the old ones. They are gone.”

I gave him a sheepish “Yes Sir” look.

I asked him in my sweetest voice possible – “Those mittens. Remember? Those were the ones we picked out long ago. Did you really throw them away?”

He said -“Quit it. I am not going to fall for that melt your heart look. Those old mittens are gone. Start using the new ones.”

Fast forward a few months. I have been using the new mittens and getting used to them.

Yesterday evening, as we started preparing for Thanksgiving get togethers for the upcoming week, I reminded Kumar to take stock that we had enough disposable supplies (plates, spoons, cups etc). He didn’t.. despite my nagging. Disposable supplies are typically stacked away in a tall cupboard that are difficult for me to reach (remember – I have a 5 foot lean and mean form). I had to go find the step stool from the garage, place it underneath the cupboard and lean over the refrigerator to take stock of supplies.

Guess what I found?

Guess where Kumar had put away my old mittens – out of sight…and out of my height 😉

That is right…on top of the refrigerator…below the tall cupboard.

What transpired next…I’ll leave it up to your imagination.

Like I said earlier, love manifests in very simple….yet beautiful ways…like buying you new kitchen mittens and putting away (not throwing them out) your old ones beyond your reach.

Our view of love has been colored by what we are led to believe is love by popular media.

Don’t over romanticize love…because, love is hiding in plain sight…right before you….or, in my case, right above me.

Love.

May you find love.

May you give love.

May you get love.

May you revel in love.

May you be love.

To love…my friends.

 

On Times with the Boys

There are times that I adore the boys so much because they take such good care of me.
Case in point: picture on the top left.
Everyday in the morning, before I wake up, tooth paste is neatly placed on my tooth brush by one of my favorite boys (can’t say who, just guess who) so that I don’t even have to do that work in my morning rush.

Then, there are times that I don’t like the boys  because they drive me nuts.
Case in point: picture in the top right
No comments. The picture says it all.

Overall, mostly, there are times that I roll with the boys because they make me laugh my head off.
Case in point: pictures in the bottom
No comments. The picture says it all.

Families keep us going. Don’t they?!

On the Bonds that Bind us to the Beyond

She firmly believed that I never ate or rested enough.
She didn’t worry as much about other things in my life…she knew I would survive.

When y’all ask me how I am doing without her, I don’t know quite how to answer that question.
Yes, in the worldy sense, she is gone.
But, to me, she is never gone.

I see her in everything.

When that sun rises in the morning and peeks through the clouds, I know she is out there looking out for me and asking me to lead a purposeful life that day and everyday.
When that speedy car came so close to ramming me on 183, I know it is her mysterious hand that added that inch worth of buffer space to save my life.
When that strong stench of vadavam emanates from the pantry, I know it is her reminding me to add that vadavam to spice up the sambar.
When that light breeze caresses my face and runs past my hair, I know it is her coming to soothe all my pains and worries away.
When y’all tell me about how I walk fast with an upright body, my head held straight and with my piercing gaze, I know it is her decades of encouraging me to be confident and strong…even during the rough days.
When y’all embrace me with all your soulful love, I know it is her way of making sure I am surrounded by never ending love, care and support.

I am not delusional. I just KNOW it with my gut.

Today, as I made rasam for the boys, I thougth of her.
I thought of how she would make the best rasam on this planet.
I thought of how she would filter the hot rasam and pour it in a tumbler.
I thought of how she would walk over slowly with her arthritis legs and place the tumbler on my work desk.
I thought of how she would nag me to drink up the rasam right away or else she was going to smack me.
I thought of all the things she would say to threaten me to eat on time and laughed and cried all at the same time.

To me, she is never gone.

I see her in almost everything…every day.

On (Un) Conditional Love

I am very transactional with the boys.

Finish your homework.
Get dessert.

Practice your music.
Get something special from the snack drawer.

Keep your desk clean.
Get a sip out of my nice smelling coffee.

Show tenacity through the week.
Get out to dinner at a place of your choice.

Do chores around the house.
Get a hug from me.

Give and take.
You do. I do.

Yep. I admit it.

Although I love them with all my heart, I try to be very transactional with the boys.

Rainbow, on the other hand, showers them with unconditional love.

No rules.
No give and take.

Just. Unconditional. Love.

How can I feel jealous when the boys return (notice the pun on transaction?!) that unconditional love to Rainbow?

So, I observe. As always, I observe from the sidelines.
And, marvel at how life and love plays out.

Exchanging Notes

The house is unusually quite because 1 is down.

Adi is out of town.

Ari and I are having a fun game that he started about 1/2 hr back.
We are exchanging notes on lil post it notes.
He is using my desk as the postbox to deliver notes to me.
He has asked me to use one of the stair railings as the postbox to deliver notes to him.

I love this game of exchanging jokes, puzzles and love notes.
These are the kind of games that keep me young.

Kumar is yelling for us to “stop it” and focus on our work.

Meanwhile, I have this big pile of notes that Ari would like me to continue writing back and forth on.

I wonder what he will say in the next note, and the one after that and one after that…..