We think everybody is like us.
We want everybody to be like us.
Not everybody is like us.
Each person is different.
Each person is unique.
Everybody wants to be loved in their own unique way.
I realized several years ago that I was using motivating “terms” that worked on me with Kumar and Adi. Didn’t work. It backfired so badly. It was very frustrating.
After several years of trying to figure it out..I hit a brick wall. That is when one of my friends pointed me to “5 Love Languages”. It was a Eureka moment.
I did the “5 Love Languages” quiz. I also had Adi and Kumar do the quiz. It lead the three of us to understand how each of us wants to be loved. We discussed and laughed about it.
For several months, we worked on using the “love language” that was needed by the other person and not the one we wanted for ourselves. Initially, it was hard work…because we were changing our auto-pilot natural way of being and doing. But, like building muscle or adapting a habit, it eventually came to us. We still lapse. But, we know now how to get back on track.
You would think it is common sense to love as somebody wants to be loved. But, alas, as you know, common sense is not so common.
Do yourself a favor. Take the quiz. Have the family take the quiz. Have a discussion afterwards. Laugh about it and promise to each other to honor them and love them as they want to be loved.
And, tell me how it goes.
Even if you don’t believe in this, go through the exercise to see things from a different perspective than you would normally see.
Trust me. It will be one of the best things you did for yourself and for your relationship with the ones that truly matter in your life.