Everybody has the right.
Everybody has the right to think what they want to.
Everybody has the right to do what they want to.
It doesn’t matter who they voted for.
It doesn’t matter what their beliefs or disbeliefs are.
Everybody has a reasoning for what they do and why they do it.
It is not easy to see through somebody’s eyes or walk in their shoes.
So, I have learnt to practice tolerance.
Then, to top that, I am slowly learning to practice acceptance.
It hasn’t been easy. But, one has got to try. Right?
I know the questions plaguing your mind.
What? Why? How?
Here is my response to all your questions about why to “accept” somebody who’s beliefs are not the same as yours?
Here is why:
I have realized over the decades that the cords that bind us to humanity are much more stronger than the occasional discordant notes that spell separate.
Re-read that last sentence.
I am confident you will get it.
That is why I will be waiting to greet you at the tolerance/acceptance intersection.
Don’t keep me waiting too long. I can be quite the impatient jerk.
So, let us remove the IN from the word Intolerance. Agreed?
We think everybody is like us.
We want everybody to be like us.
Not everybody is like us.
Each person is different.
Each person is unique.
Everybody wants to be loved in their own unique way.
I realized several years ago that I was using motivating “terms” that worked on me with Kumar and Adi. Didn’t work. It backfired so badly. It was very frustrating.
After several years of trying to figure it out..I hit a brick wall. That is when one of my friends pointed me to “5 Love Languages”. It was a Eureka moment.
I did the “5 Love Languages” quiz. I also had Adi and Kumar do the quiz. It lead the three of us to understand how each of us wants to be loved. We discussed and laughed about it.
For several months, we worked on using the “love language” that was needed by the other person and not the one we wanted for ourselves. Initially, it was hard work…because we were changing our auto-pilot natural way of being and doing. But, like building muscle or adapting a habit, it eventually came to us. We still lapse. But, we know now how to get back on track.
You would think it is common sense to love as somebody wants to be loved. But, alas, as you know, common sense is not so common.
Do yourself a favor. Take the quiz. Have the family take the quiz. Have a discussion afterwards. Laugh about it and promise to each other to honor them and love them as they want to be loved.
And, tell me how it goes.
Even if you don’t believe in this, go through the exercise to see things from a different perspective than you would normally see.
Trust me. It will be one of the best things you did for yourself and for your relationship with the ones that truly matter in your life.
Ari has been reading a book on codes and detectives.
He wanted me to play dress up.
So, there we are….well, sort of dressed up.
Usually, I am the one to pound Adi’s email inbox with must-read articles.
Nowadays, he forwards the most interesting stuff about latest research,findings and articles.
Here is one that caught my eye.
How To Live The Good Life: 4 Easy Secrets Backed By Research
Here’s how to live the good life and easily boost the positive emotions in your life:
Smile: Flex that happiness muscle. (Feel free to thank me repeatedly over the next three decades.)
Laugh: How many things prevent divorce and can help you deal with the passing of a loved one?
Touch: Telling them how you feel need not involve telling. And you’ll be a better team.
Tease: Free your inner snark. A little teasing makes things fun. And it makes things last.
Nietzsche once wrote:A person’s maturity consists in having found again the seriousness one had as a child, at play.
And what do kids do a lot more often than we adults do?
Today, resolve to approach life like a big kid. Now that’s the good life.