On finding Peace and Strength

Sometimes, I find a shaded spot under a tree.

I sit down for just a bit.
I let the sun peak at me through the leaves on the tree.
I let the cool breeze nourish my body and soul.

I remember the days of past when I played on a swing in Thatha’s field under a shaded tamarind tree. I remember and feel gratitude for that utterly carefree days of my youth.

I find peace.
I find strength.

Then, I get up and go about my usual madness.

Anyways, it was one of those rare Sunday evenings when I got to sit down quietly for a few minutes and enjoy a hot cup of chai.

Amen to finding peace.

On Fate and Freewill

Fate brings us together with thousands of people during our lifetime.
Only few of those people stay on our journey for a lifetime.
The rest come into our life for our mutual learning, healing and/or growth and then move on.

When I was younger, I used to mourn such loss.
But, I am stronger now.
I understand everything happens for a reason.
So, I have become braver to let go and to exercise my free will.

After all, we are here to live and let live.

That said, the fine dance that fate plays with our life is beyond fascinating.

Is it not?

How has fate played with your life?
Have you exercised your free will recently?

When I Write

When I write, I am not just writing.
I am observing. From a vantage point called Middle-Age.
The past. The present. The future.

I am re-writing my past the way I want it to read.
I am writing my present the way it happens.
I am writing the future to help with what you and I could make of our lives.

I am writing….my life…and my life story.
And, I am editing (both my writing and life story), as I go.

Thank you for reading and continuing to support me.

On Not Forgetting

I tried to hold it together and stay strong at Iris’ memorial. But, I couldn’t. I broke down when her husband Jerry (man of few words) said to Iris -“Honey, Wherever you are, I want you to know I love you. I want you to know I’ll do my very best to take care of the boys and your parents”. Jerry urged us to not take any moment with our loved one for granted.

I brought home some forget-me-not seeds to plant in the backyard. I bet they’ll bloom beautiful in a few months.

Josh Groban’s “To Where You Are”

Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
‘Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far

To where you are

I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

On Mortality

I am going to be heading out tomorrow afternoon to a friend’s memorial. Iris died of breast cancer. Iris loved my boys as if they were her own.

When Adi went on robotics tournaments, she was his second mom. She would text me pictures of score boards and Adi driving the robot. She was so proud of him. She cared for Ari in her after school center. She leaves behind her young boys, her loving husband and a whole bunch of people she cared genuinely for and who adore her.

As you can tell, death has wreaked havoc on my life (pun, intended) in the last few months.

To make sense of it all and share my thoughts and pain, I am going to be writing a rather morose series of posts on Life & Death. I’ll understand if you are unable to handle it and don’t want to read on.

If you can handle it, read on….

Ready for it? Ok.

Let us assume you and I found out you one of our loved ones is going to die 24 hours from now, what would we do?

We would drop everything.
Right?
We would rush to them.
We would hold their hand.
We wouldn’t even blink our eye.
We would tell them how much we love them.
We would move heaven and earth to stop, evade or slow the impending 24 hours deadline.

Now, think about it.

I gave a “fake” 24 hour deadline.
But, the truth of the matter is we don’t even know when the deadline is.
But, it is approaching us.

We all believe, falsely, that time is infinite.
How tragically beautiful that belief is?

Time isn’t infinite.
Time is ticking.

For you.
For me.
For our loved ones.
For all of us.

Hear that.

Tick.
Tick.
Tick.

We all know this.
Yet, we make plans.
We make dinner plans.
We make plans for tomorrow.
For next week.
For next month.
For next year.
It sounds ridiculous, does it not?

Well, it is called hope.
Humanity has thrived on hope.

I am not going to end this post, as I typically do, on a positive note.
I am not going to say – Make it all count.