On a Rare Friday Evening

It is what some people will call a loner Friday evening.
Not to me.

To me, it is one of those rare Friday evenings.
After an unrelenting week with work and family, I have the house to myself.
The 3 boys are out.
The silence is almost deafening.
So, to break the unusual silence, I decide to play some old classics.
And, catchup on my unending todo list.

Y’all have a great Easter weekend.

On Failure

There is no failure when you are in the comfort zone.
In the safe zone….it is wonderful…. status quo…you are in cruise mode….it is calm and cool there.

But, that is not what excites you.
You want to break past that calm and cool….and you strive…oh, so hard. You rock heaven and earth.

Then, there is 2 possibilities.
Sometimes, you break through.
Sometimes, you stretch too far….you give it your best…yet, you fail.

You feel you are done because life is playing another one of those cruel jokes on you.
Your soul is completely crushed.
Your heart breaks.
You shed a few tears.

Then, you remember, you have done this many times over.
Getting up, no matter what has transpired, and walking forward has become part of your neuromuscular memory.

So, you get up to dust yourself.
Then you march forward….because that is what you have always done.
And, because, that it the only option that TRULY exists.

Can you win over Destiny with your Intellect?

When I was a little girl, Grandpa TVS would tell me “Vithiyai Mathiyal Vellalam”.
It meant “You can win over destiny/fate with your intellect”.

So, I grow up believing it. Every challenge that I faced or option that I was given or curve ball I was thrown, I calculated every move like a chess-player. I calculated not only what the next move should be….but played out in my mind several subsequent steps……..then played it all backwards….until I knew what optimal step to take next.

I practiced that skill relentlessly and got better and better at it.I could see my life playing with fate and winning over it.

Until, one day, finally, I believed “Vithiyai Mathiyal Vellalam”.

Then, I started growing up. I started understanding a nuance with the fate-intellect drama that unfolded in my life. Only when I had a major role in controlling an outcome, I was able to have a higher success rate with winning over fate.

There were several situations I encountered where more than one party controlled the outcome.
Family. Friends. Work. Teams.

I expected rationale behavior. But, I was disappointed to learn there isn’t a thing as rationale behavior when it comes to personal relationships. Humans do what they think is right for them.
While we hate to admit this, we are driven emotionally (subconsciously)….especially with family and friends. Work behavior is more rationale than personal behavior….because, for many people, less is at stake in work situations.

I also understood what my definition of success, outcome, winning over fate might not be another person’s cup of tea. Some folks are completely comfortable with fate ruling their life. I came to understand acceptance is also a strategy to lead a peaceful life. While I initially found that shocking, over the years, I have come to empathize and respect that point of view.

After all, isn’t part of life’s learning about seeing others perspective too?

So, now, I have the following observation based on life experience.
Even with the best of intentions, I might find it difficult to win over fate in group settings.

I simply am unable to win over fate in group settings…..how much ever I try…and, trust me, I can be quite the force to reckon with when I think fate it going to beat me in the game.

That said, I ain’t giving up or accepting failure….not this early in the game.

Because, I trust Grandpa TVS and his wiseness.
If he said “Vithiyai Mathiyal Vellalam”, it means I can do it.

I will continue to wage ware with fate…with all my might and all my intellect.

I hope you do too.

On Genetic Theory for Food Preference

I have a theory..it is called Ambal’s Genetic Theory for Food Preference.

Fear not. I won’t use fancy words like alleles, zygote, epigenesis, gemmules in my theory.

I will use simple words to make it easy for you to understand and appreciate the theory. The theory goes like this.

Ambal’s Genetic Theory for Food Preference – The mom’s food preference genes is passed on to the second child.

That is it.

Don’t pull a smart aleck on me and ask “How do you know?”
I have proof. Ari loves the stuff that I love; drumstick sambar, gobi manchurian, tapioca pudding, coffe, chai etc.

What is your theory on food and/or food preference?

On the Necessity for Two Minds

Two minds is what I need,
I asked of God indeed,
One to pine, wallow and wither,
The other to forget and live on.

If days and nights are an either or,
If joy and sorrow are two,
If togetherness and separation are not one,
One mind cannot be sufficient.

Transliteration in English of Poet’s Kannadasan famous song:

Irandu Manam Vendum
Iraivanidam Ketten
Ninaithu Vaada Ondru
Marandhu Vaazha Ondru

Iravum pagalum irandanaal ,
Inbam thunbam irandaanaal ,
Uravum pirivum irandaanaal,
Ullam ondru podhathe.