Can you win over Destiny with your Intellect?

When I was a little girl, Grandpa TVS would tell me “Vithiyai Mathiyal Vellalam”.
It meant “You can win over destiny/fate with your intellect”.

So, I grow up believing it. Every challenge that I faced or option that I was given or curve ball I was thrown, I calculated every move like a chess-player. I calculated not only what the next move should be….but played out in my mind several subsequent steps……..then played it all backwards….until I knew what optimal step to take next.

I practiced that skill relentlessly and got better and better at it.I could see my life playing with fate and winning over it.

Until, one day, finally, I believed “Vithiyai Mathiyal Vellalam”.

Then, I started growing up. I started understanding a nuance with the fate-intellect drama that unfolded in my life. Only when I had a major role in controlling an outcome, I was able to have a higher success rate with winning over fate.

There were several situations I encountered where more than one party controlled the outcome.
Family. Friends. Work. Teams.

I expected rationale behavior. But, I was disappointed to learn there isn’t a thing as rationale behavior when it comes to personal relationships. Humans do what they think is right for them.
While we hate to admit this, we are driven emotionally (subconsciously)….especially with family and friends. Work behavior is more rationale than personal behavior….because, for many people, less is at stake in work situations.

I also understood what my definition of success, outcome, winning over fate might not be another person’s cup of tea. Some folks are completely comfortable with fate ruling their life. I came to understand acceptance is also a strategy to lead a peaceful life. While I initially found that shocking, over the years, I have come to empathize and respect that point of view.

After all, isn’t part of life’s learning about seeing others perspective too?

So, now, I have the following observation based on life experience.
Even with the best of intentions, I might find it difficult to win over fate in group settings.

I simply am unable to win over fate in group settings… much ever I try…and, trust me, I can be quite the force to reckon with when I think fate it going to beat me in the game.

That said, I ain’t giving up or accepting failure….not this early in the game.

Because, I trust Grandpa TVS and his wiseness.
If he said “Vithiyai Mathiyal Vellalam”, it means I can do it.

I will continue to wage ware with fate…with all my might and all my intellect.

I hope you do too.

On Genetic Theory for Food Preference

I have a is called Ambal’s Genetic Theory for Food Preference.

Fear not. I won’t use fancy words like alleles, zygote, epigenesis, gemmules in my theory.

I will use simple words to make it easy for you to understand and appreciate the theory. The theory goes like this.

Ambal’s Genetic Theory for Food Preference – The mom’s food preference genes is passed on to the second child.

That is it.

Don’t pull a smart aleck on me and ask “How do you know?”
I have proof. Ari loves the stuff that I love; drumstick sambar, gobi manchurian, tapioca pudding, coffe, chai etc.

What is your theory on food and/or food preference?

On the Necessity for Two Minds

Two minds is what I need,
I asked of God indeed,
One to pine, wallow and wither,
The other to forget and live on.

If days and nights are an either or,
If joy and sorrow are two,
If togetherness and separation are not one,
One mind cannot be sufficient.

Transliteration in English of Poet’s Kannadasan famous song:

Irandu Manam Vendum
Iraivanidam Ketten
Ninaithu Vaada Ondru
Marandhu Vaazha Ondru

Iravum pagalum irandanaal ,
Inbam thunbam irandaanaal ,
Uravum pirivum irandaanaal,
Ullam ondru podhathe.

On Finding a Zen Moment

If it weren’t for that 1 tumbler of coffee in the morning #zen moment…

Those of you know who know me really well, would finish that sentence by saying “you would be admitted in the max security mental ward”.


Question: If it weren’t for your 1 cup of coffee in the morning #zen moment…..

Today, just sit for a little bit and enjoy a quiet moment just for you.

“Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you – sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.”
― Lauren Oliver, Pandemonium

“When forever becomes a place…
when forever ceases to be just a word…
when it ceases to be just a measurement of time….”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

On Being Whole Again

“In every atom, there is a reflection of the whole.”
― Jay Woodman

Do we need to have seen darkness….to appreciate light?
Do we need to have seen light….to understand darkness?

How does it go?

Do we need to have been broken…. to appreciate being whole?
Do we need to have been whole …to feel the pain of being broken?

Feeling broken.
Feeling whole.
Feeling together.

Have you been there?
Have you felt broken?
Have you felt whole?
Have you felt together?

What is whole?
What does that mean?
Who can we define being whole?
Should we define being “not whole” before beginning to define whole?

Is being whole a feeling?
Is it a state of being?
Is it a state of knowing?

Do we need our friends to feel whole?
Do we need our family to feel whole?
Do we need food to feel whole?

What is it?

What if we are already whole…just as we are?
Then, why do we need other things or other people to feel whole?

Do we need to feel whole to be happy?
If so, why?

I don’t think you or I can define, with words, the true meaning of feeling whole.
I think one has to feel it.

One has to be broken.
Only then, one can understand and appreciate the true beauty of feeling whole again.

I am feeling whole….again.
Are you?

“Sometimes I wonder if we ever truly let anyone completely in. The desire for another human being to know you, all of you, all the pieces, even the ones you’re ashamed of — is huge. But too often, we sit down and sort through the pieces only picking out the pretty ones, leaving the ugly ones behind, not realizing that choosing not to share with someone else is like committing a crime against our very soul”
― Rachel Van Dyken, Toxic

“How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also If I am to be whole”
― C.G. Jung

“I am a broken person. And I know exactly where my cracks are and how deep they run. I don’t pretend to not be a broken person and therein lies the big difference. Because the truth is, we are all broken in places, but it is those who know exactly where and how they are broken, who also know exactly where and how they are whole! And we may not be whole in all places and in all ways, but we take whatever wholeness that we do have, and we make good of it. And we try hard to work on the broken parts, and we ask for help when we need it.”
― C. JoyBell C.

“Through the absence of what we think we have to have we can discover our wholeness”
― Renae A.Sauter