4 days had passed since he was born.
Kumar, Grandpa and I rushed to the hospital for the first week doctor check up.
We were running late….with a wailing baby in the car seat. Kumar pulled through to the clinic’s driveway to drop me off. I jumped off the car and rushed to the front desk.
The receptionist asked me “Who is the appointment for?”.
I responded “I have an 8.30am appointment for my son. His last name is spelt – K – U – M – A – R”.
As I said it, I realized it was the very first time I had said “MY SON”. Suddenly there was a new relationship with a new person. That new person…that was my son. MY SON. As, I said it, my heart became stronger and weaker all at once.
The last few years have been a wild ride with the boy who holds my heart strings in his hands.
Today, he is 11.
10 years ago he was 1. And, we were “one”.
He has a mind of his “own” now.
He and I don’t see eye-2-eye anymore.
He and I blow smoke off our shotguns every day.
Despite the “differences” his adolescence brings, we are still tied together at the hip. And, I hope that togetherness will last a lifetime.
Whether you are near or far, thank you for being in Adi’s life. Thank you for coaching him, sharing a laugh with him and wishing him well. Thank you for guiding me with your parenting tips.
Thank you for saying “Ambal, it is such a short time. Come on, hold it together, will you?”
Adi is always ahead of me. ALWAYS.
Here are the questions that I had to field in today’s Ambal-Adi summer 2013 bootcamp.
What is the truth?
Does life exist after death?
Are we alone on this solar system?
Are we just energy sources?
Is this all a dream?
What is the meaning of life?
What is the Karma Yoga you are always telling me about?
I see…there are other Yogas – Bhakti yoga, Jnana yoga
Does God exist?
History of religions?
Are we in a dream?
It is all your perception, mom, really?
It is all in the mind, is it?
Does free-will exist?
Is everything predestined?
Why do you perceive purple during meditation?
Really, You and I might have energy and light transfer..and perhaps nothing else, really?
How do I feed his curiosity?
Seriously, how do I?
I don’t have answers…just more questions for him.
I told him what I always tell myself “Be open to all ideas. Be open to every thought. But, also be skeptical. Don’t accept anything as true. Look for what is not obvious. Keep seeking.”
I felt the urge to discuss Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle with him.
But, that has to wait until later.
Beautiful evening. Clear blue sky. Windy hill. 1 kite. 2 boys. And lucky me.
A Tamil song:
En Pattamae Para Para Para
Vaanam Thaandi Para Para
En Nenjamae Para Para Para
Ellaigal Illai Para Para
(Rough) translation in English:
Fly fly fly
Fly beyond the sky
Fly my heart
There is no limit
Fly fly fly
First day of Kindergarten.
Drop off done.
Son inside the Kindergarten classroom.
Possibly having a blast.
Dad outside the Kindergarten classroom.
Peering in to ensure “all is well”.
“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids.” – Bill Cosby
Walking Ari to school in the morning during spring makes me slow down.
He looks at this yellow ball and the bright sun.
Ari – “Amma, If I throw up this yellow ball, will it touch that yellow sun?”
Me – “We won’t know until you try. So, why don’t you try?”
He points to the snails and the rollie-pollies on the ground.
Ari – “Amma, stop! Don’t step on that rollie-pollie. He is going to school just like me.”
Me – “Ok, Ok…I will be careful.”
He points to the tulips and the roses.
Ari – “Amma, can I open up that unopened tulip? I want to help it.”
Me – “No, let us wait for it to bloom by itself.”
He points to the green rolling hills, clear blue sky and the chirping birds.
Ari – “Amma, LOOK…LOOK..there is a humming bird.”
Me – “Where? Where? Oh! I missed it.”
The joys of looking at the world through a 4.75 years old’s eyes…it never ends.
I hope you are slowing down to smell the roses and enjoying spring in its full glory.