4 days had passed since he was born.
Kumar, Grandpa and I rushed to the hospital for the first week doctor check up.
We were running late….with a wailing baby in the car seat. Kumar pulled through to the clinic’s driveway to drop me off. I jumped off the car and rushed to the front desk.
The receptionist asked me “Who is the appointment for?”.
I responded “I have an 8.30am appointment for my son. His last name is spelt – K – U – M – A – R”.
As I said it, I realized it was the very first time I had said “MY SON”. Suddenly there was a new relationship with a new person. That new person…that was my son. MY SON. As, I said it, my heart became stronger and weaker all at once.
The last few years have been a wild ride with the boy who holds my heart strings in his hands.
Today, he is 11.
10 years ago he was 1. And, we were “one”.
He has a mind of his “own” now.
He and I don’t see eye-2-eye anymore.
He and I blow smoke off our shotguns every day.
Despite the “differences” his adolescence brings, we are still tied together at the hip. And, I hope that togetherness will last a lifetime.
Whether you are near or far, thank you for being in Adi’s life. Thank you for coaching him, sharing a laugh with him and wishing him well. Thank you for guiding me with your parenting tips.
Thank you for saying “Ambal, it is such a short time. Come on, hold it together, will you?”
It is not about the smell of the BBQ.
It is not about the sound of the fireworks.
It is not about the chaos of sales in the malls and car lots.
It is NOT.
It is about having your head held high.
It is about feeling what you want to feel….freely.
It is about saying what you want to say….freely.
It is about living the life you want to live….freely.
It is about dreaming….and making all your dreams come true…FREELY.
It is about Independence.
Say, it with me…slowly….I N D E P E N D E N C E.
Relish it as you say it.
I wish you true Independence…in your thoughts and deeds.
Do you remember the days when peas used to be peeled from the pea-pod rather than stored in a plastic bag in a freezer?
Peas Courtesy: San Ramon Farmers Market & Nyia Yi Farms
Adi is always ahead of me. ALWAYS.
Here are the questions that I had to field in today’s Ambal-Adi summer 2013 bootcamp.
What is the truth?
Does life exist after death?
Are we alone on this solar system?
Are we just energy sources?
Is this all a dream?
What is the meaning of life?
What is the Karma Yoga you are always telling me about?
I see…there are other Yogas – Bhakti yoga, Jnana yoga
Does God exist?
History of religions?
Are we in a dream?
It is all your perception, mom, really?
It is all in the mind, is it?
Does free-will exist?
Is everything predestined?
Why do you perceive purple during meditation?
Really, You and I might have energy and light transfer..and perhaps nothing else, really?
How do I feed his curiosity?
Seriously, how do I?
I don’t have answers…just more questions for him.
I told him what I always tell myself “Be open to all ideas. Be open to every thought. But, also be skeptical. Don’t accept anything as true. Look for what is not obvious. Keep seeking.”
I felt the urge to discuss Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle with him.
But, that has to wait until later.
I had some of the best middle school English teachers. They didn’t just teach me. They imparted love for the language and poetry. I also grew up with a great love for Tamil poetry.
I plucked these 2 fragrant jasmine flowers from the backyard. These flowers remind me of a beautiful poem from Poet Valli.
Here is part of the poem transliterated in English:
Kadavul thandha iru malargal kanmalarndha pon malargal
Onru paavai koondhalilae onru paadhai oaraththilae
Alaiyil midhandha malar kandu adhanmael karunai manam kondu
Thalaiyil iraivan soodikkondaan thaanae adhanai saerththukkondaan
Kuzhalil soodiya oru malarum koayil saerndha oru malarum
Irandum vaazhvil perumai perum idhayam engum amaidhi perum
Here is part of the poem in Tamil with English translation:
கடவுள் தந்த இரு மலர்கள் கண் மலர்ந்த பொண் மலர்கள்
ஒன்று பாவை கூந்தலிலே ஒன்று பாதை ஓரத்திலே
Two precious flowers given by God;
One fortunate enough to adorn a charming girl while other floated by placid water.
அலையில் மிதந்த மலர் கண்டு அதன்மேல் கருனை மனம் கொண்டு
தலையில் இறைவன் சூடிக்கொண்டான் தானே அதனை சேர்த்துக்கொண்டான்
Seeing the plight of the floating flower, the Creator with grace adorned Himself with that.
குழலில் சூடிய ஒரு மலரும் கோயில் சேர்ந்த ஒரு மலரும்
இரண்டும் வாழ்வில் பெருமை பெறும் இதயம் எங்கும் அமைதி பெறும்
Both the flowers get their glory by adorning;
So will the heart get filled with peace (for everyone)
English Translation was provided by my friend Daisy whose love for Tamil exceeds mine by many fold.