On Compromise

He wakes up early. She wakes up late.

He likes sweet food. She likes spicy food.

He likes his veggies soft. She likes her veggies crunchy.

He likes to run. She likes to hike.

He likes his iPhone. She likes her android.

He likes to relax when vacationing. She likes to run around when vacationing.

He likes it when the weather is cool. She likes it when the weather is warm.

He rarely loses his temper with her. She often loses his temper with him.

His work space is well organized. Her work space is chaotic.

He leaves the kitchen messy. She leaves the kitchen spotless.

He leaves to work dressed suavely. She leaves to work dressed.

He is relaxed. She is worked up.

His words are delivered smoothly. Her words are delivered speedily.

Sometimes, I wonder how they made it through after all these years together.

After all these years,

he still applies tooth paste on her tooth brush to ease her hurried morning schedule

& she still is the first one to say sorry to end an argument or fight.

After all,

isn’t life about all the right compromises we make for our chosen ones? 

On Melancholy

You get to a certain point in our life.

Before you get that point in our life….

like me, you have possibly battled with and for life.

You have possibly lost a lot to life.

You have possibly won a lot in life.

By the time you get to that point in your life,

like me,

you have possibly also lost half of your life.

That is when you ruthlessly and bravely chuck a lot and decide to keep a few.

When you get to that point in our life, you also learn to cherish the simplest things..like a small cup of hot soup on a cool Fall day in Nov…because, you realize, even the simplest of things, you can’t take for granted.

Carpe diem.

On Falling Leaves in Fall

Kadavul Thantha Azhagiya Vazhvu from the tamil movie Maiali is one of my favorite songs.

Check out these lyrics:

the leaves may shed in the autumn (to be interpreted as bad times),

but spring will return,

when the spring returns the sweet songs of the cuckoo’s will come back (to be interpreted as good times coming back),

some things in life end, after which they will replenish (like the pheonix)

these are lessons that life teaches us.

In Tamil:

oodaiyil indru izhaiyuthirum vasanthangal nalai thirumbi varum,

vasanthangal meendum vanthuvitaal kuyilkalin paatu kaatril varum,

mudivathum, pinbu thodarvathum,

intha vaazhkai sollum paadangal thaane, keladi

Listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vDex9pMKdE

Even if you don’t understand Tamil, the melacony in this song will tug at your heart and appreciate this life that we are fortunate to live..depsite all it ups and downs.

Source of translation: http://www.lyricaldelights.com/2012/07/13/maayavi-kadavul-thandha-azhagiya-vazhvu/

On Being Fearless

When I was a little girl, Thatha (Grandpa TVS) taught me a Bharathiyar poem.

We used to recite it together in a funny sing-song fashion.

As I started growing up, I would recite it to him like an orator……..giving it all that I had.

Long after he was gone, whenever I was faced with a storm, whenever fate conspired to throw me in the dark pits of life..I have recited the poem and have clawed the way out of those dark pits because I realized being fearless is an attitude.

Transliteration of Bharathiyar’s poem:

Achamillai, achamillai, acham enbadhu illaye,

Uchi meedhu vaan idinthu veezkindra podhilum,

Achamillai, achamillai, acham enbadhu illaye!

Rough Translation:

I have no fear, I have no fear, There is no fear in me,

Even if the sky above crumbles and falls down on me,

I have no fear, I have no fear, There is no fear in me!

When we jokingly recited the poem…..

Little did I know why Thatha taught the poem to me.

Little did he know the legacy he would leave in my heart and mind.

I am rooting for you. Be fearless.

On Remembering and Not Forgetting to Remember

Even Sunday afternoon pakora reminds me of Appa and Amma.

Amma used to love only the thool (powdered pieces) portion of pakora.
Appa would buy pakora only from 2 of his favorite places (one in Chromepet and one in Tambaram).
He said everybody else didn’t use the right oil or fry the pakora the right way.
He just wanted ONLY the best pakora for his 3 girls (Amma, my sis and me).
When he went grocery shopping, he would save the “pakora” buying for the last. After he bought the hot pakora, he would rush home so his girls would eat the hot and crunch pakora. He would take only a lil piece. I would urge him to eat more. But, he would always say “Nee sapadu ma” (roughly translated to – “you eat dear”).

So, how do I forgot?
How do I forgot the memories that are stored as bio-chemicals somewhere deep in my brain?

I understand now why Poet Kanadasan said –
Irandu manam vendum
Iraivanidam ketpen
Ninaithu vaada ondru
Marandhu vaazha ondru

He asked the Lord to give him two minds
One to remember
One to forget

I wonder why Kannadasan didn’t say
Irandu manam vendum
Iraivanidam ketpen
Ninaithu vaada ondru
Marakama vaazha ondru

Because, I ask the Lord to give me two minds
One to remember
One to remember not to forget

To all of you who have lost a loved one, I send you my love.

Remember not to forget your loved one.