When I was a little girl, Grandpa TVS would tell me “Vithiyai Mathiyal Vellalam”.
It meant “You can win over destiny/fate with your intellect”.
So, I grow up believing it. Every challenge that I faced or option that I was given or curve ball I was thrown, I calculated every move like a chess-player. I calculated not only what the next move should be….but played out in my mind several subsequent steps……..then played it all backwards….until I knew what optimal step to take next.
I practiced that skill relentlessly and got better and better at it.I could see my life playing with fate and winning over it.
Until, one day, finally, I believed “Vithiyai Mathiyal Vellalam”.
Then, I started growing up. I started understanding a nuance with the fate-intellect drama that unfolded in my life. Only when I had a major role in controlling an outcome, I was able to have a higher success rate with winning over fate.
There were several situations I encountered where more than one party controlled the outcome.
Family. Friends. Work. Teams.
I expected rationale behavior. But, I was disappointed to learn there isn’t a thing as rationale behavior when it comes to personal relationships. Humans do what they think is right for them.
While we hate to admit this, we are driven emotionally (subconsciously)….especially with family and friends. Work behavior is more rationale than personal behavior….because, for many people, less is at stake in work situations.
I also understood what my definition of success, outcome, winning over fate might not be another person’s cup of tea. Some folks are completely comfortable with fate ruling their life. I came to understand acceptance is also a strategy to lead a peaceful life. While I initially found that shocking, over the years, I have come to empathize and respect that point of view.
After all, isn’t part of life’s learning about seeing others perspective too?
So, now, I have the following observation based on life experience.
Even with the best of intentions, I might find it difficult to win over fate in group settings.
I simply am unable to win over fate in group settings…..how much ever I try…and, trust me, I can be quite the force to reckon with when I think fate it going to beat me in the game.
That said, I ain’t giving up or accepting failure….not this early in the game.
Because, I trust Grandpa TVS and his wiseness.
If he said “Vithiyai Mathiyal Vellalam”, it means I can do it.
I will continue to wage ware with fate…with all my might and all my intellect.
I hope you do too.