On Looking for and Finding Warmth

Today, when I saw Rainbow find a warm sunlit spot, I was reminded of her.

Many years ago, I went to a week long meditation camp during Fall. We had to do many exercises and discussions as part of the camp. Some of those exercises and discussions were done in groups and some were done in pairs.

One of my discussion partners had just gone through a divorce and was going through a very rough time. Since the meditation room was cold, she had a shawl on her at all times during the camp. I had my socks and coat on.

During one of our paired up discussions, she and I found each other and sat down on the floor facing each other. We held hands…as we were directed to by the coach.

We were asked to discuss what we were grateful for. As usual, I rattled on about the zillion things I was thankful for…..mostly the big things in life. When it was her turn, she said something like this – “Ambal, notice how you and I found this warm spot in the room to sit down and face each other. Notice how the sun is streaming through the window and hitting us as this spot and warming us. I am grateful for that warmth.” My heart melted as she said that. I didn’t nudge her, as I normally would have done, to continue on and talk to me about other things she was grateful for. I just sat there looking at her eyes. She looked into mine. As the moments passed, I could see and feel all her pain through her eyes. She probably understood that I empathized without knowing anything at all about her life or the painful divorce. Tears started rolling down her eyes. I acknowledged her tears with my own. She truly enjoyed and was grateful for that sunlit warmth (and the warmth that my heart exuded towards her) in that cold room that each of us had found ourselves in. We each had arrived there to learn techniques to cope with our life.

Since I had told the meditation group about my love for books, reading, my constant quest and unquenchable thirst for learning what doesn’t met the eye, the next day, she brought me Hermann Karl Hesse’s Siddhartha and urged me to read it.

I don’t know where she is now or what she is doing. I sure hope she went past that rough phase successfully and is happy.

Every time I see somebody find a warm spot in a room, I think of her and send her all my love. I hope she has continued to received that virtual love in the last 2 decades.

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