Are you turning Better or Bitter?

I usually don’t fall sick. When I sense the onslaught of a sickness, I use the power of my mind to fight it.
Perhaps, that is what is keeping this terrible cold that wants to torture me at bay. That combined with coat, socks, scarf and being dressed like an Eskimo inside the house.

Anyways, we are about a month away from the year to end. So, here are my reflective thoughts.

bitter-or-better-ambal-balakrishnan

Over the last few years, I have realized only 2 things happen to people as they grow up. They either become BITTER or they become BETTER. That is it. Those are the only 2 things that happened.

That is my hypothesis. You don’t have to agree with it. In fact, I much rather that you go through your own reflection and prove me wrong.

So, let me explain my thinking.

I went through a lot of hardships when I was my younger self.
I think those experiences have left me very resilient.
I laugh now more than I ever did .
I take on challenges with a rather playful attitude.
I have also had the fortune of meeting many cherished souls that despite so many hardships, have become better over the years.
They have seen tough times and have done the “Phoenix Rising” act many times over. I adore these people. I look up to them as my role models. I learn from them. They inspire me to get better as I age.

Sadly, that is not everybody. Several people become bitter over the years. It is very sad to see. But, that is the unfortunate truth.

I think not facing adversity in life during early years possibly has something to do with it. They might have not built the “I-have-digged-myself-out-of-deep-shit-and-can-do-it-all-over-again” muscle. But, here is the good news. It is never too late to build that muscle and turn out better.

I also think that not planning for one’s life in early years or placing importance on things that don’t actually matter…leaves one very susceptible to “issues” later on in life.

One of my favorite Tamil poets Vairamuthu says:
Chinna chinna tholvi ketten
Seekkiram aarum kaayam ketten

What it means is the following:
I ask for small failures.
I ask for wounds that will heal soon.

I recite this poem to the boys often.
I wish failure and wounds for them and myself.
I want them and myself to continue to build resilience.
I fight hard to control my motherly instinct.
I let them fight the good fight for themselves.
I step back more often than I should.
Trust me, it requires a lot of self control to step back.

My mother in law used to tell me “Ambal, only keep the good memories”. That is also something that I teach the boys.

Do yourself a favor. Find somebody that really knows you, cares for you and is a straight shooter.

Ask them, “Am I getting bitter or better?”

I hope I’ll only grow better.
I hope that you’ll only grow better.

Because, after this game ends, I would so want to see you on the other side in the Better Camp.

Alrighty?

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Ambal Balakrishnan

Global Content Marketer #Cloud #DevOps #IBMer #Author #Blogger #Wharton #Purdue Alum #Mom to 2 boys #DogOwner #Mountain #Climber #TEDx Curator #ViewsMyOwn

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